About Moi

About Moi
My Name is Brittany, and I'm 23yrs old. I was diagnosed with Lupus when I was 15, and then diagnosed with RA, when I was 18. I also got married when I was 18, and I'm enjoying my happily ever after with my hubby! When I got married, I was slim and trim...But not for long. After getting married, I started to gain a LOT of weight! In 1yr, I gained 50lbs! Finally, I went to the Doctor, where I discovered I have low thyroid. After being put on medicine, my weight gain slowed down, although over the next 3yrs, I gained an additional 26lbs. When I was 20yrs old, I got yet another diagnoses of Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. That's 4 diagnoses in a 5yr period, if you lost count. They all effect my weight, in one way or another. Add on top of that, my love affair with food, and every 1 of those 76lbs gained was accounted for. Being 76lbs over weight is unhealthy for anyone, but it was especially unhealthy for me, and my health issues. Since starting this blog, in Jan-2010, I have lost 40lbs! I'm a new, slimmer, and healthier me! Before losing weight, I was told I needed knee replacements. Losing weight was the ONLY tool I had to help me hold off on that life changing surgery. Since losing 40lbs, my knees have never felt better! My husband and I are also trying to start a family, but my PCOS was not going to make it as easy as 1,2,3, as I didn't have periods on my own. My doctor had told me if I wanted a baby, I HAD to lose weight. Since losing 40lbs, I've had regular cycles for the first time in my life! Which is very important when trying to have a baby ;) This journey of mine is more than me simply wanting to wear skinny jeans. It has been a quest to becoming :Deliciously Healthy, so ALL of my dreams can come true! I'm almost half way there! With each new day, I get closer and closer to my goal of 120lbs, and becoming :Deliciously Healthy!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

One step

Hello there!
I am so sorry for being MIA lately. As you can guess, I've been struggling. In more ways then just my diet. Usually when I'm struggling, my blog really helps me to journal all of my thoughts, and gets me through a rough patch. But other times, it can be really hard to put myself out there. Kinda like standing outside naked. Completely exposed. In those cases, I hide.

I've had so many things on my mind these past couple weeks:

~Fertility. Once again wondering if we are ever going to get pregnant, and be the parents we so badly want to be.

~Knee replacements. My knees have been killing me lately. I have to concentrate when I walk, to try and not "step" wrong. Cause if I do, I can barely walk for the rest of the day. This has been most frustrating when I'm trying to lose weight. "How am I going to lose this weight, when I can't even walk around the block on somedays?!" I've been considering getting knee replacements now. It's such a hard decision that weighs heavily on me.

~Putting our dog Kisses down. She's old, and doesn't move around much. She needs surgery again, but she's gotten to the age where it doesn't make sense to put thousands of dollars into her. We've decided it would be best to put her down. But I love her, and I don't want to.

~And of course, losing weight. Having so many things on my mind has not made it easy to start my diet back up. Especially a diet that is as strict as this. Food is my comfort, and my happy place. I was doing so well, and I'm so mad at myself for sliding off track. To get rid of that anger, I turn to mac and cheese. The official "don't worry, be happy" food. The problem with the 17 day diet (for me anyway), is that if you slide off track for a few days, it's really hard to get back on it. It's so restrictive (at least in the 1st cycle), and after a couple days of eating yummy comfort food, you don't want to go back to salads. Like, you seriously throw a tantrum like a 3 year old on the way to the dentist.

(Amongst all that, TOM is here (for the first time in a while), so I'm overly emotional, bloated, and hungry.)

Today I've realized that you simply need to take the first step. And then another, and another. But it all starts with the first. It's the hardest step to take. For me, I usually decide if I'm going to be on a diet that day, before I eat breakfast. "Do I make eggs, and get back on my diet, or do I have cookie crisps?" Lately, I've been choosing the cookie crisps, and the day is set for unhealthy eating. But today, I took my first step in a healthy direction. I already feel better. The day is set for healthy eating. Now I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I'm going to do the 1st cycle of the 17 day diet for 1 week, to get my butt back into gear. Then onto the 2nd cycle! And I PROMISE to blog everyday, while on the 17 day diet :D


kristi said...

Ouchie...with the knees. Hugs girl, I have had a rough time recently as well.

Ty said...

So so so sorry about your dog. :( That is just awful. But I think an owner always knows when it is "time".

I tried 17DD too and it just didn't work for me. I am still doing a few things I liked from it (more probiotics, 20 minutes of exercise a day, minimal carbs) but definitely not following it to the letter.

Corletta said...

You and I are so much like...right down to not blogging because of a rut :/ I will follow and comment, as I know that that encourages progress! I, too, am frustrated with allowing myself to get back to my original weight. That's ok...we've got this!! Dont' be discouraged; we already look great, this is just FINE tuning :)

135by2012 said...

You know how many times I have gone back and forth on that cycle too. I feel your pain and can totally relate to the do I make eggs and be healthy today or eat crap. I ask that to myself on a daily basis. It is a struggle we all have and some days its easy and others are so hard you want to scream.

I just keep reminding myself how much better I feel when I am on track and once I bite the bullet and do it, I immediately feel better.

That first step is the hardest, so I am proud you were able to take it again today.!

Sean, Jen, Carson and Addie said...

I'm excited to see a post from you! I'm sorry that things haven't been going well and I'm especially sorry to hear about Kisses.

I love what Corletta said, you do look great, so give yourself credit for that!! :0)

Jessica said...

I am so sorry you have so much on you right now. I am so sorry about Kisses.
What are the doctors saying about the knees?

Melissa said...

i'm struggling with the fertility thing too. it sucks. :(

so sorry about kisses. I love my dog & know how much they are a member of the family.

Prayers for you! HUGS!

Bella said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Kisses, but I'd make that same decision. I hope there's some comfort in knowing that you will get to say goodbye to her and that she won't suffer. But it's still so hard, I know.

In terms of your diet, maybe the 17DD is a bit too restrictive? Can you start with Cycle 2? I know that's not the way the diet is designed, but so what? Do you think it would work better for you? Because really, the only diet that works is one that you can sustain.

I hope your knees start feeling better, or that surgery is an option eventually.

NAN said...

Oh Brittany, I wondered where you were! You have a lot to be emotional about for sure! I'm starting the second cycle of the 17 day diet- I did pretty well with the first and lost about 9 pounds. It's easier for me though since I live alone. My pantry/freezer is pretty well purged now; I did have a few set backs- found some Christmas goodies and ate until I had to throw them away and some cinnamon rolls) but overall I tried to not think about food. Just trust in your infertility specialist- they can usually get a person pregnant and you can always try in vitro and you must be ovuklating if you had your period?? Also, you are YOUNG! My second cousin had her first baby at age 45 last April and I was 39 with my third (12 years after my son was born) PS I found a recipe for a sweet that is fairly healthy I will post on my pathetic blog. I sometimes really crave something with my coffee!

Sara said...

Me and my room mate just started the 17day diet too!

Good luck on it :)