Time Lost

(flickr)

This morning, I was going through an old diet book called, "The Rosedale Diet" It's a book that teaches you how to eat food that will naturally turn your hunger switch off, and will help your body function the way it's supposed to.

About 3 years ago, I tried to go on his diet. It's kind of strict, and at the time, I just didn't have the willpower to stick to a diet. I did learn some things by reading his book, that I try to incorporate into my diet, to help myself transform into a healthier person, but I never did stick to his diet completely.

I was flipping through the book, trying to find the exact recipe (I always just follow it in my head) to a very yummy chicken salad of his, to post later.

I came across a Journal type of page, where it asked, "Starting weight:" To which I had put, "170"

Tears instantly followed.

Why didn't I stop there?
Why couldn't I have been stronger, and kept my (Much thinner) butt on a diet?!

I was angry, sad, disappointed, and most of all, I felt like it was all hopeless.
I think feeling like it's hopeless when you're trying to lose weight, is the most damaging of all emotions.

So, I opened up the fridge to see what I could find.
As if to say to the world, "See? I don't care anymore. I give up!"
But then the thought came to my mind,
"This is what you did 3 years ago. This is why you didn't stop at 170."
Then a horrifying image came to my mind, of me 3 years from now asking myself, "Why didn't I stop at 195?"
(there. I said it. I weigh 195. But if you ask me face to face, I'll deny it:)
I refuse to ever wish I was only 195.

So, I shut the fridge. I won't let the time lost get me down.
Because it is "Better late then never."

3yrs ago I was 19, and I had yet to discover I had low thyroid, and PCOS. I think I'm more mature now, and maybe even wiser.
I can do this.

On a side note, I think I'm going to re-read his book. There are some yummy recipes, and lots of knowledge I think I will appreciate more, now that I'm a little wiser :0)