About Moi

About Moi
My Name is Brittany, and I'm 23yrs old. I was diagnosed with Lupus when I was 15, and then diagnosed with RA, when I was 18. I also got married when I was 18, and I'm enjoying my happily ever after with my hubby! When I got married, I was slim and trim...But not for long. After getting married, I started to gain a LOT of weight! In 1yr, I gained 50lbs! Finally, I went to the Doctor, where I discovered I have low thyroid. After being put on medicine, my weight gain slowed down, although over the next 3yrs, I gained an additional 26lbs. When I was 20yrs old, I got yet another diagnoses of Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. That's 4 diagnoses in a 5yr period, if you lost count. They all effect my weight, in one way or another. Add on top of that, my love affair with food, and every 1 of those 76lbs gained was accounted for. Being 76lbs over weight is unhealthy for anyone, but it was especially unhealthy for me, and my health issues. Since starting this blog, in Jan-2010, I have lost 40lbs! I'm a new, slimmer, and healthier me! Before losing weight, I was told I needed knee replacements. Losing weight was the ONLY tool I had to help me hold off on that life changing surgery. Since losing 40lbs, my knees have never felt better! My husband and I are also trying to start a family, but my PCOS was not going to make it as easy as 1,2,3, as I didn't have periods on my own. My doctor had told me if I wanted a baby, I HAD to lose weight. Since losing 40lbs, I've had regular cycles for the first time in my life! Which is very important when trying to have a baby ;) This journey of mine is more than me simply wanting to wear skinny jeans. It has been a quest to becoming :Deliciously Healthy, so ALL of my dreams can come true! I'm almost half way there! With each new day, I get closer and closer to my goal of 120lbs, and becoming :Deliciously Healthy!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

It's The Climb

(Flickr)
The time that I've been dreading, came. The time for me to stop my infusions, and be taken off some of my medicine, so they can be out of my system when we start trying to get pregnant. I've been dreading this time, because without my meds keeping my RA under control, my RA is able to go to town on my joints.

I stopped taking my meds about a week ago, and I was due for my infusion about two weeks ago.

I'm starting to feel it.
Today especially.
It's been hard.

Every joint in my body hurts, and it gets worse as the day goes on.
I'm starting to dread simple tasks. Even typing.

There's an ugly voice inside my head. It's telling me my dreams are never going to come true. It's telling me I'm never going to reach my goals, and that there's no point in even trying to lose weight.
It seems like this weight loss mountain is getting steeper, and steeper.

I'm trying with everything I have to silence that voice.

About 6 months ago, I had a Doctor's appointment with my orthopedic surgeon, where I learned that I needed knee replacements. I had already known that, but as far as I knew I could hold off for a year or two. During the appointment, my Doctor told me that I needed them, NOW. He even started to fill out the paper work, and wanted me to have the surgery in 3 months. (I decided to go against his wishes and wait)
Learning that I needed knee replacements at the age of 22, was one of the hardest things I've ever had to face. I completely broke down. (You can read more about that day, HERE on my other blog)

On the way home from the appointment, I heard "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus come on the radio. It stopped my tears, and the words gave me so much hope and perspective.

"It's all about the climb." I realized that Heavenly Father gave me this challenge because he loves me, and this was an opportunity for me to learn and grow. I had faith that this was Heavenly Father's plan for me, that he loved me, and that he would never leave my side through this climb of mine. I learned that the struggles I face, are just apart of my journey.

As I've been struggling these past couple days, the words to this song have started to play in my head. They play louder then the negative thoughts, and once again, the words are giving me hope, and a new perspective....

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

(Chorus)

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa
~Miley Cyrus

I've got to be strong. I'm going to keep on climbing, and I'm going to get to the top. There may be obstacles in my way, but I'm not breaking.

This video also brought me GREAT comfort during that time, and as I watch it now. It fills my heart with hope, love, faith, and sends tears of joy streaming down my face.

I feel so empowered!
"Nothing is impossible" to me! My trials can either bring me down, or make me stronger. But it's up to ME as to which road I take!

I'm going to allow these struggles to help me learn, grow, become stronger, and bring me closer to Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ.

I am going to get there. My dreams are going to come true, and I will succeed!
You watch ;)

Thanks for listening, and for all your support!
xoxo

14 comments:

The Sweet Tooth Obliteration Operation said...

I have found one of the most important lessons to learn is to turn your struggles into something positive. Without the bad there could not be the good. You WILL get pregnant, you WILL succeed, and it will be all the more special because of the hard times it took to get there. That is what I have learned from my time spent alone in the darkness. I will say a prayer for you.

Loser Girl said...

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling, but very glad to see you're still trying to think positively. You'll get through this! We're all here to support each other!

mollymariephoto said...

wow. you really inspire me. You are truly a brave and kind person - you are in my thoughts and I hope if/when you get the surgery done it all goes smoothly :)

my blog: http://mollymariegetshealthy.com

Andrea @ CanYouStayForDinner.com said...

Brittany, you are so strong. I am in awe of you, really. You're facing so many hard things and yet you're able to have perspective and positivity. I can't imagine what you're going through but just from reading your blog for a short time I can tell how special you are and how well you live your life. I find inspiration in your story.
Thanks for being open and honest about your struggles. You can do this. You are beautiful and brave!

Jenn@slim-shoppin said...

I love that song too. I'm sorry you are going through a hard time, I can't imagine dealing with all that stuff.

BUT, I think it doesn't take much to turn around your way of thinking and look at things in a great light. Sometimes I think its not such a great thing to be optomisitc all the time, because sometimes things don't always turn out. But, it makes life so much better when you think about situations in a positive light. I know all your dreams will come true for you!

Bella said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the pain you're experiencing. It has to be so hard to go through that.

Your positive attitude is amazing, and I think it, along with your faith in yourself, will help you achieve all of your goals.

Meg said...

With God, all things are possible! You have a wonderful attitude. I will pray for you about the pain...that must be so difficult!

Tiff said...

You are RIGHT on girl!

I can't imagine adding the pain and pressure you experience to the already self discipline that we have to exhibit when changing our lives. When you reach your goal (and you will) it will be such a testimony to those who are just "normal" people and don't struggle with the additional stress of a health condition and want to lose weight. If you can do it, anyone can!

Joe and Brittany said...

Thank you everyone! Your comments put a smile on my face!

I seriously heart you guys!

The Chubby Girl Diaries said...

YOU are an incredibly strong woman. I admire you so much. You WILL succeed! I can feel it in my bones. Don't give up hope. Keep on climbing that mountain!

And that song gives me chills everytime I hear it.

Just out of curiosity (and this is a DUMB question because i'm sure you've looked into everything), have you tried joint juice or any natural sort of remedies for RA? Do they help?

(((HUGS))))

~Kellie

Joe and Brittany said...

Thank you!

It's not a dumb question! When I was younger, my dad would have me try all sorts of different stuff like that, to see if it would help. Unfortunately, none of it seemed to do anything for me. It would be worth another try though!

Anonymous Fat Girl said...

My best friend was recently diagnosed with RA and I know how hard it must be for you. My friend is really struggling. :(

Just try so hard to silence those voices. They're up to no good. And I KNOW you can do good with this. Just hang in there. (((HUGS)))

Jessica - cbgblog said...

There is a little something for you on my blog. (Check out- "1st blog award")

Jenn said...

Brittany, you are one strong chickadee. I'm in awe of your determination and resilience. I hope that baby comes to you right away!