It's The Climb

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The time that I've been dreading, came. The time for me to stop my infusions, and be taken off some of my medicine, so they can be out of my system when we start trying to get pregnant. I've been dreading this time, because without my meds keeping my RA under control, my RA is able to go to town on my joints.

I stopped taking my meds about a week ago, and I was due for my infusion about two weeks ago.

I'm starting to feel it.
Today especially.
It's been hard.

Every joint in my body hurts, and it gets worse as the day goes on.
I'm starting to dread simple tasks. Even typing.

There's an ugly voice inside my head. It's telling me my dreams are never going to come true. It's telling me I'm never going to reach my goals, and that there's no point in even trying to lose weight.
It seems like this weight loss mountain is getting steeper, and steeper.

I'm trying with everything I have to silence that voice.

About 6 months ago, I had a Doctor's appointment with my orthopedic surgeon, where I learned that I needed knee replacements. I had already known that, but as far as I knew I could hold off for a year or two. During the appointment, my Doctor told me that I needed them, NOW. He even started to fill out the paper work, and wanted me to have the surgery in 3 months. (I decided to go against his wishes and wait)
Learning that I needed knee replacements at the age of 22, was one of the hardest things I've ever had to face. I completely broke down. (You can read more about that day, HERE on my other blog)

On the way home from the appointment, I heard "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus come on the radio. It stopped my tears, and the words gave me so much hope and perspective.

"It's all about the climb." I realized that Heavenly Father gave me this challenge because he loves me, and this was an opportunity for me to learn and grow. I had faith that this was Heavenly Father's plan for me, that he loved me, and that he would never leave my side through this climb of mine. I learned that the struggles I face, are just apart of my journey.

As I've been struggling these past couple days, the words to this song have started to play in my head. They play louder then the negative thoughts, and once again, the words are giving me hope, and a new perspective....

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

(Chorus)

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa
~Miley Cyrus

I've got to be strong. I'm going to keep on climbing, and I'm going to get to the top. There may be obstacles in my way, but I'm not breaking.

This video also brought me GREAT comfort during that time, and as I watch it now. It fills my heart with hope, love, faith, and sends tears of joy streaming down my face.

I feel so empowered!
"Nothing is impossible" to me! My trials can either bring me down, or make me stronger. But it's up to ME as to which road I take!

I'm going to allow these struggles to help me learn, grow, become stronger, and bring me closer to Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ.

I am going to get there. My dreams are going to come true, and I will succeed!
You watch ;)

Thanks for listening, and for all your support!
xoxo