About Moi

About Moi
My Name is Brittany, and I'm 23yrs old. I was diagnosed with Lupus when I was 15, and then diagnosed with RA, when I was 18. I also got married when I was 18, and I'm enjoying my happily ever after with my hubby! When I got married, I was slim and trim...But not for long. After getting married, I started to gain a LOT of weight! In 1yr, I gained 50lbs! Finally, I went to the Doctor, where I discovered I have low thyroid. After being put on medicine, my weight gain slowed down, although over the next 3yrs, I gained an additional 26lbs. When I was 20yrs old, I got yet another diagnoses of Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. That's 4 diagnoses in a 5yr period, if you lost count. They all effect my weight, in one way or another. Add on top of that, my love affair with food, and every 1 of those 76lbs gained was accounted for. Being 76lbs over weight is unhealthy for anyone, but it was especially unhealthy for me, and my health issues. Since starting this blog, in Jan-2010, I have lost 40lbs! I'm a new, slimmer, and healthier me! Before losing weight, I was told I needed knee replacements. Losing weight was the ONLY tool I had to help me hold off on that life changing surgery. Since losing 40lbs, my knees have never felt better! My husband and I are also trying to start a family, but my PCOS was not going to make it as easy as 1,2,3, as I didn't have periods on my own. My doctor had told me if I wanted a baby, I HAD to lose weight. Since losing 40lbs, I've had regular cycles for the first time in my life! Which is very important when trying to have a baby ;) This journey of mine is more than me simply wanting to wear skinny jeans. It has been a quest to becoming :Deliciously Healthy, so ALL of my dreams can come true! I'm almost half way there! With each new day, I get closer and closer to my goal of 120lbs, and becoming :Deliciously Healthy!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Love is my new fuel.

I came across this story on facebook:

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption read: "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:
"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness. They entertain like crazy with dolphins, and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia. They sing incredibly well, and sometimes are even on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defends and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.


But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because they suffer from split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children. Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad. Besides, what man wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.
At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, so it spreads all over our bodies. We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated. Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "

I love this. Being skinny doesn't equate to being beautiful; and being overweight absolutely does not equate to being ugly.

Even though I didn't know it, I was beautiful at 206 pounds (my husband even told me so).

I keep telling myself that I will be beautiful when I am at my goal weight, of 120 pounds. I've subconsciously told myself that until then, I do not deserve beauty. Nor do I deserve to love myself. I have to tell myself every. single. day. that I hate the way I look. I tell myself that I have to loath what I've done to my body, and that I'm not good enough at the weight I am. I use hating myself to motivate me to get to 120 pounds.

No wonder why it has been a struggle to get there.I cannot look after something that I hate.
And using hate to fuel my motivation to lose weight, makes no sense at all.

From now, through to the finish line, and beyond, I am going to love every stretch mark, and every fat dimple. I am going to love every single pound that shows up on that scale. All of these things made me wiser. They have made me who I am. They are apart of ME. I am going to love myself so freakin' much, that I want to take care of this beautiful body I have been given.

Love is my new fuel.

8 comments:

Tiff said...

I actually saw that on fb as well- LOVED it! Glad to see you're doing well- keep it up!

Kat said...

Me three! I can't believe that anyone would ever use that as a marketing tactic. Especially because I love whales.

If you love yourself, the rest will come. You.can.do.this.

Jessica said...

Great post!

The Ninja said...

here! here! Loving yourself and what you've got to work with is definitely the first step to making it the beautiful body you want it to be.

Bella said...

Great post! I saw this same sentiment (with a different photo) on FB, too, and was so glad that people are embracing it.

Jenn @ watchmybuttshrinking.com said...

Brittany, this is wonderful. I hope you believe what you said, and that you do learn to love yourself. You are an AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL woman!!!

Summer said...

Love yourself from the inside out. I've always thought you were beautiful, Brittany, :)

Jenn@slim-shoppin said...

Hi Brittany! Long time no talk! Just checking in on you and seeing how you are doing. Great post.

It's cheesy - but listen to Miley Cyrus the climb on you tube. My daughter was listening to this the other day - it's celebrating the journey rather than the finish line.

Have a great weekend!