Love is my new fuel.

I came across this story on facebook:

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption read: "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way: "Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness. They entertain like crazy with dolphins, and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia. They sing incredibly well, and sometimes are even on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defends and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because they suffer from split personality: woman or fish? They would have no sex life and could not bear children. Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad. Besides, what man wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale. At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, so it spreads all over our bodies. We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated. Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "

I love this. Being skinny doesn't equate to being beautiful; and being overweight absolutely does not equate to being ugly.

Even though I didn't know it, I was beautiful at 206 pounds (my husband even told me so).

I keep telling myself that I will be beautiful when I am at my goal weight, of 120 pounds. I've subconsciously told myself that until then, I do not deserve beauty. Nor do I deserve to love myself. I have to tell myself every. single. day. that I hate the way I look. I tell myself that I have to loath what I've done to my body, and that I'm not good enough at the weight I am. I use hating myself to motivate me to get to 120 pounds.

No wonder why it has been a struggle to get there.I cannot look after something that I hate.
And using hate to fuel my motivation to lose weight, makes no sense at all.

From now, through to the finish line, and beyond, I am going to love every stretch mark, and every fat dimple. I am going to love every single pound that shows up on that scale. All of these things made me wiser. They have made me who I am. They are apart of ME. I am going to love myself so freakin' much, that I want to take care of this beautiful body I have been given.

Love is my new fuel.