Blog shy

Yes. It has been 2 weeks since I last blogged.
I've had lots to say, over the past 2 weeks, but every time I would sit down to write a post, I would get.... shy. Blogging made me nervous all of a sudden. It was seriously weird.

But I'm back.
Hello world.

Here's just a few random things from the past 2 weeks:

I went to whole foods for the first time:I have been on this weight loss journey for over a year, and I had never gone to a whole foods. I don't believe it myself.

I've been trying some new, clean and healthy products, as a result of my recent trip to Whole Foods:

Cinnamon raisin bagels:Love.

All different kinds of butters: Dislike all of the above.

All natural chocolate chip cookies: Not the best I've ever had, but it's nice to have something chocolaty and "clean" in the freezer, for when I turn into the cookie monster.

Luna bars:
Love. The only problem is, so does my husband. Doesn't he see the label? Women only! ;)

I have developed a love/hate relationship with ovulation tests:Every morning I get a sense of rejection/failure when a little stick tells me I'm not ovulating.
I have yet to see a positive test. My fertility Doctor told me that my PCOS can prevent these tests from working right, but that she still wanted me to take them.
I think I may have ovulated this month, as I had all the "signs" THIS article pointed out.
How many sticks does a girl have to pee on to get pregnant?

I bought this, Clean Eating cook book:
I heart this book. Not only does it give you lots of clean eating recipes, including desserts (none of which I have tried, because I am currently too lazy to bake), it's also a whole guide on how to eat clean. Why I didn't buy a clean eating book from the get go, is beyond me.

And I have developed a small crush on 50 Cent:
That is all.

Do you ever get blog shy?
What healthy foods are you currently loving?

New Books, and a New Motivation!

These past few days, I've been feeling a little discouraged, because I can't workout much, due to my RA. What I'd give to be able to go running, even just for 10 minutes. Or workout long enough to be drenched in sweet, and really feel my heart pumping. I try to workout, but the pain is just too much to work through, and I can't stand the feeling of it. A lot of my joints are almost completely bone on bone, and in some areas, they are bone on bone. The joints that are the most damaged are: Both my knees, my right shoulder, and both my wrist. When I try to work out, I can feel my joints cracking and grinding in the areas that it's bone on bone. Not only is this very painful, but it's a lot like nails going down a chalk board. It grosses me out, and it's hard to work through. It just feels wrong!

How in the world am I going to lose 75lbs, when I can barley workout? I know losing weight seems like a huge mountain to climb for anyone, but for me, I sometimes feel like I'm trying to climb a mountain without any tools or gear. Sometimes I feel like it's hopeless, impossible, not fair, and just too dang difficult. Sometimes it makes me just want to give up.

Then, my darling husband, who I'm convinced Heavenly Father sent to this earth just for me, came home from work last night. He walked in the door, and said, "Close your eyes!" I was thinking, "Please tell my your not about to hand me my favorite temptation, because I've been crying all day, and I'm just not strong enough right now to turn any kind of chocolate away. I will most likely swallow it whole, like nobodies business!" I opened my eyes, bracing myself, and I saw this:My husband did not come home with a delicious, chocolaty temptation for me to sink my teeth into, when I'm trying to lose weight (He's been known to do this). Instead, he came home with the Bethenny Frankle (I seriously love her), "Naturally Thin" book that I've been wanting, AND her, "The Skinny Girl DISH" book, to help me on this journey. He came home with a tool, and piece of gear, to help me climb this mountain.
I heart him...

As I looked down at the books, I thought to myself, "This is what I CAN do."

I can't change the fact that I have RA. It's the cards I've been dealt. I can't change the fact that I can't go jogging, or even go walking for a long period of time. But I know whining about it isn't going to make me any thinner, and getting discouraged is only going to send me on a completely different path, going the WRONG direction! I don't have control over the things my body simply can't do, but I do have control over what I put into my body. I have to do what I CAN do, and stop focusing on what I CAN'T do!
I can eat healthy. I can be positive. I can be grateful. I can educate myself, by reading books on how to live a healthy life.
"This is what I CAN do."
And this is what I'm going to do.

I'm ready to conquer another weekend!
This weekend, I'm going to have my head in my new book, and not in the fridge saying, "Hmmm. I wonder what I can eat in here?" I'm going to try some new recipes this weekend, and I'm going to do lots of research on things I CAN do with my RA.

Happy weekend everyone!