What's been on my mind

Yesterday I pretty much spent the whole day in bed, cuddling with Moxie.I was feeling blue, and I just needed to take a time out. I've been in a little funk, and have had a bad week as far as my diet goes. My time in bed wasn't completely unproductive; I was able to figure out what's been bothering me...

I had tried to lose weight many, many times before I was finally successful. There was just never anything that REALLY motivated me enough to get the weight off. That was until I met with a fertility specialist, where she told me if I wanted to get pregnant, I HAD to lose weight.

That did the trick. I didn't want my weight and my love for fast-food to get in the way of any of my dreams, especially my dream of becoming a mother. A fire got lit under my butt, and I finally changed. I came up with my Deliciously Healthy motto and started this blog. I was so excited to lose weight, and be healthy so I could get pregnant. My desire to get pregnant helped me have the will power to turn down pizza, donuts, and everything else. I started having periods on my own, which was so exciting and comforting, as I didn't have them before due to my PCOS. Having regular periods was showing me that I was ovulating regularly, which would make getting pregnant easier. It was all due to my new healthy lifestyle. It was very rewarding, and I was optimistic that I would be a mother in no time. All this excitement made eating healthy a no brainier, and a piece of cake.

At this point, we weren't trying to get pregnant yet. I wanted to wait a few months so that I could actually lose some weight first. The excitement and anticipation of trying to get pregnant in the near future, made me work extra hard at losing weight. In July, we technically started trying, which was 6 months after I started losing weight. And that was when a whole lot of insecurity and doubt subconsciously entered my mind. We would try for 1 month, and then I would come up with some excuse to not try the next month. In the past 6 months of trying to get pregnant, I would say we've only actually tried 3 out of those 6 months. I've realized that I don't believe I'm going to get pregnant. It just seems too good to be true, and surreal. I'm scared to try to get pregnant, because I don't want to be let down. So, I've been stalling. Soon, the baby fever was becoming too much, and I decided that I was done letting fear and doubt get in our way. In the month of December, we were trying to get pregnant. My period started today, which shows me we obviously didn't get pregnant. Once again, I feel like it's just not going to happen. It's too good to be true. "I'm never going to get pregnant." If I believe it's never going to happen, then that takes away my main motivation to eat healthy and lose weight. Hence my lack of motivation these past couple days.

And that's pretty much where I sit today. My motivation is gone, because I have convinced myself that I am never going to get pregnant. Even though we have only tried for 4 months.
(Also note that I'm on my period, so I'm overly emotional about this...)

I haven't given up on my diet in any way. I've just hit a little bump. Also, we have family visiting right now, which isn't helping. My husband always wants to go to every restaurant in town when we have visitors. AND I'm on my period, so I want to eat more then usual. I've been doing my best to at least keep a balance.

It feels good to get that off my chest.
150's here I come!

Satisfying My Cravings, in a Deliciously Healthy Way

TOM has arrived.

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know that it's a personal triumph every time TOM comes on it's own, because with my PCOS, it never used to. I hadn't seen it since June, so I was definitely happy, and proud of the fact that my body did what it was supposed to this month.

It reminds me that I'm not only losing weight, I'm on the road towards becoming :Deliciously Healthy also!

BUT, PMS will always be PMS. And I am
craving chocolate!

I could try to ignore this urge for chocolate, but sometimes that does more harm then good. Like sending me straight to a carton of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream for instance.

I find it better to give in. I just have to do it in moderation, and follow my deliciously healthy motto.

Remember these
Naturally Peanut Butter Cookies I made a while back? You know, the ones that had 75% less PB and 50% less butter then the original, yet they tasted better?
Yeah, those.Today I made them again (they are so, so good!), but this time, I spread a little Nutella on them!I'm pretty sure I was in heaven while I was eating that cookie.Pretty. Darn. Sure.

100% Random

I like crossing my legs. It's something I couldn't do when I was 206.
It's a sweet little victory for me each and every time, and I'm reminded of how far I've come!

Last night I had a dream that some little kid was throwing rocks at me. Every rock would hit one of my joints, and I was annoyed at how good the kids aim was. When I woke up my joints were killing me! Now the dream makes sense, lol. I think I'm going to have to get my remicade infusion every month, instead of every two months... nerds.

This mornings weigh in had me at 167 for a 2 pound loss this week!

Where the heck is TOM?! I thought it was coming, but it must have taken a wrong turn somewhere...

I was awarded the versatile blog award again. This time by Deb and Kelly. Thank you ladies!!

I'm LOVIN' these ring pops!! They're seriously the perfect snack!
Don't forget to enter my giveaway for a chance to win them!

I have baby fever like no ones business! It comes in waves... and I'm in the middle of a huge title wave!

That's about it. I hope you survived the trip into my head. If you're a little dizzy or disoriented, don't worry, it should pass within the next few minutes
(If symptoms last longer, seek medical help. Deliciously Healthy is not responsible for any long term effects;)

Thank you. Come again.
(Channeling Apu from The Simpsons)

The Scale and I are NOT Getting Along!

After the scale told me I weighed 172 this morning, for a 1 pound GAIN, we've been giving each other mean glares all day!It's been mean to me for the past 3 weeks (In that time I've lost 0 lbs), and I'm not going to forgive it, until it apologizes, and tells me that I've had some kind of loss!
I mean come on! What did I ever do to you?!

Between you and me, I think little miss scale (is your scale a girl? I think mine is. And she's ALWAYS PMSing!) is starting to go a little crazy. I'll step on the scale and it'll tell me one number, and then I step on it again, and it tells me something else! It goes back and forth, until I give up! On top of that, it never tells me I've lost .5 or 1.5 pounds anymore. It's always the exact number. I've either lost, or gained 1 or 2 pounds, and never anything in between.
Poor thing has lost her mind. I think I have to get a new one, before miss scale makes me lose my mind too!

Any suggestions on what kind I should get?

Well, there you have it. I've gained a pound this week, and the scale and I are officially not speaking to each other!

Oh, and it's TOM... so maybe that little monthly gift has to something to do with it too...

Whatever ;D

I'm NOT Going to Let A Bad Weigh In Get Me Down!

Today's weigh in results: 171
That's a 0 pound loss.

I was hoping to see a big loss this week, as I thought I'd be in the gym working up a sweat everyday. Instead, I've spent the week with a cold. Boo!

I was seriously frustrated after stepping off the scale. I did really good this week... and last week.
I feel like this is taking forever!

Good news is, my frustration subsided within the hour. All I can do, is all I can do. I realized that I'm not on some crazy diet, that is only going to last a few weeks. In the past, when I've been on one of those loony diets, I'd head straight to McDonald's after a bad weigh in. If I wasn't going to lose a significant amount of weight each week, then there was no way I was going to continue to eat nothing but salads!

But this is my new lifestyle. I'm going to live/eat this way for the rest of my life... whether I lose weight that week, or not. This is way more then the numbers on the (stupid) scale. This is about being :Deliciously Healthy. I'm going to strive for that each and everyday, even if the scale and I aren't getting along (cause we're currently not talking;)

Plus, I think TOM has something to do with all this. We'll see.

I told Thumbalina to stick her tongue out at the scale. So she did ;)

It's time for some non-scale victories, wouldn't you say? :

~ I went to the gym today, even though my cold is still lingering. I did 10 minutes on the treadmill, and 5 on the elliptical. I had set out to do more, but by the end of those 15 minutes, I was huffing, puffing, wheezing and coughing. 15 minutes isn't much, but it was better then staying home, and getting 0 minutes in, right?

~ I GOT A GYM MEMBERSHIP!! I can hop on a treadmill and my arthritis doesn't hold me back! (I may be limping on it, and can only do like, 10 minutes and I'm out, but at least I can do that much now!)

~My husband and I went for a long walk around the lake near our house, for the first time since living here (2yrs)!! It was hard, and my husband was giving me worried looks by the end of it, because I was so red and sweaty, but it felt good! I was totally proud of myself (and so was my hubby)! When I was 206, there would've been no way my knees could have handled that!

~My skin is looking a lot better! The other day my husband asked, "Are you wearing make up?" I replied, "Nope!" :D

~I successfully ended this day, without diving into a Big Mac, due to my bad weigh in(s). Nor did I let it ruin my day. High five!

~I'm pretty darn sure TOM is coming soon. As you know, I'm always so proud of myself when I have a period all on my own! Although now when I have a period, it means we didn't get pregnant this month, but at least I know that I had the ability to get pregnant this month... things just didn't work out. Either way, I'm :Deliciously Healthy, and loving it!

I'm going to concentrate on those NSVs, to get me through to next weeks weigh in... which will hopefully be good!

***

On a side note:
I put some new things on my sidebar! :

~Progress/goal pictures. I'll put new progress pics up with every 20 pounds I lose!
~"This Weeks Results" Each week, I'll put up the info from my latest weigh in.
~There's also My "Progress" where I keep track of how much weight I've lost, and how much is left to go!
~"Label Cloud" Where you can click on any label, and it will show you all the post that have that label. (The different size words, show how many posts have that label)
~Links to my "Favorite Quick and Easy, Deliciously Healthy Recipes".
~And links to "Deliciously Healthy Recipes I Love"!

Aren't I spiffy? ;D

Period Talk, Baby Talk, and My Weigh In.... :)

It's been a rough 3 weeks. I've been all out of whack, and pretty confused:

Around April 5th, I was all excited to see a little glimpse of Aunt Flow, and I was certain she was making an appearance. I had extremely light spotting (it wasn't even enough to call spotting... most people probably wouldn't have even noticed it, but me, being obsessed with the subject, and always checking to see if I got my monthly gift like an excited child on Christmas morning, I did spot it;). It didn't even last for a whole 2 days. What did last, were all the symptoms, minus the actual period.

For the past 3 weeks, I've been:
Tired, hungry, thirsty (way thirsty), crampy, emotional, gassy (shhh! I've been blaming it on the dog) and my bubbies have been ultra sensitive! Like ultra X 2.

It was all rather confusing.
Was I having a 3 week long period, minus the bleeding?
Could I be pregnant?Nope.

The digital pregnancy test was cheaper then the kind I normally buy (I'm sure I alone have made the pregnancy test people rich)
I stood in the pregnancy isle, (feeling like the entire store had stopped to look at me buying a pregnancy test), wondering if I should pay more, to have the less abrupt answer....

I can handle, one line or two, a plus or a negative. The digital pregnancy test on the other hand, is a little more... rude! It's either, "Pregnant", or "NOT Pregnant" In plain english.
Can't it say, "I'm sorry, you're not pregnant YET, but it'll happen :)"
I guess that would be hard to fit onto that little screen, huh?

Then, to make myself feel even more stupid, my period came the day after taking the test. Awesome.

I'm still a little confused, as I thought I had a period like 21 days ago (is that what they call a 21 day cycle???), and I'm not sure why I've had period symptoms ever since, but Aunt Flow is definitely here (and this time it's brutal. I need me some midol).

I still get very excited, when I have a period on my own. It just doesn't get old :) This month (maybe even twice this month?) my body did what it was supposed to! I feel like I'm curing myself of my PCOS, by simply living a Deliciously Healthy lifestyle! Since living healthy, I've had 4 periods!! Like totally all on my own! That makes me so happy!

Why does this make me happy?
Because May=The "official" start of trying to have a family!
AHHH! That gives me all sorts of butterflies!

With PCOS, you don't produce enough hormones to produce an egg.
No ovulation=no period.
Before, when I'd only have 1 or 2 periods a year, it meant I only ovulated 1-2 times a year. Kinda scary when you're wanting to start a family. Since living Deliciously Healthy, I've had
4 periods in 6 months!
Period=Ovulation!
Which is totally awesome news when you're about to start trying to get pregnant, in like a couple weeks!

I'm going to stay on my diet, until I get pregnant. After I get pregnant, my plan is to continue to eat healthy, so I can have a Deliciously Healthy pregnancy. I'm going to ask my fertility specialist if it's okay to be on a diet when trying to get pregnant. I don't think being on a diet is doing anything harmful to my body, that would prevent me from getting pregnant. I think being on a diet makes me healthier. I've also heard of lots of people getting pregnant while trying to lose weight... but I'm going to ask just to make sure.

I would like to be between 150-170 when I get pregnant.

What am I today? 178. Boo! I blame it on Thumbalina (my dog). Okay, okay... I blame it on Aunt Flow? How about my husband for taking me out on a date, and insisting that I order dessert? I mean the man would not give up! Whatever it is, or who's ever fault it is (mine. What?! Did I say that?), it needs to change. I have like what, 3 weeks to lose 8 pounds? That way if I get pregnant next month (Typing that caused massive butterflies. But who gets pregnant the first month of trying?), I'll be within my goal weight range.

I need to bump it up a notch or 2!

I'm going to cut out my little extra snacking, between snackings, and I'm going to get moving! My goal is to walk for 15-20 minutes (depending on my knees), twice a day. Hopefully that will give me the little extra boost I need!

This is all rather exciting!

Woo Hoo!

I'm feeling a little sick today (Boo!), but I wanted to share a few things I have to celebrate!

First of all, we had a great, Deliciously Healthy Easter! WOO HOO! I hope you all did too!!

Secondarily, we had a great time visiting with my father-in-law!
As soon as he walked in the door, I announced that I was eating healthy! LOL! My husband laughed at me. I felt like I needed to just get it out there, without realizing how completely random it was! He was respectful, and supportive of the fact. While grocery shopping together, he would point out things that were healthy, and things that I should stay away from. It was kinda funny.

I ate really well when we were at home. When we went out to eat (3 times) I did pretty good sometimes, and not so good other times. But I think that's okay. The times I didn't do so well, I would try my best to make up for it at home, by eating REALLY healthy the next day.

I'd say it was a pretty successful week! I'm glad my father-in-law was able to come visit. I totally didn't need to stress about working in my diet while he was here, the way I did! I learned that you can enjoy visitors, and still eat healthy! Phew!

Another woo hoo, goes to my hubby! He graduated with his bachelors degree. He received high honors, with a 3.9 GPA!! WOO HOO! Is it bad of me to take a tiny bit of credit for that? Who do you think helped him study? MOI! ;D
Joking aside, I'm REALLY PROUD of him!!

I had wanted to wear my goal dress to my hubbies graduation, but I can't quite fit into it yet. That meant that I had to go dress shopping...I was seriously dreading it! The last time I tried dress shopping, I was 206, and it was a very depressing experience. I was expecting it to be much the same this time, forgetting that I was 25 pounds lighter!! It wasn't painful at all! It was quick, and easy, and no tears were shed in the fitting room. I walked out with this dress (in a large!):
My next big woo hoo, goes to my favorite Aunt, Aunt Flow! She is making an appearance this month!.... I'm pretty sure at least.

Hmm, how do I put this? I've seen glimpses of her, but she's not 100% here yet. You get me?
My poor blog readers have to read about me, and my period all the time. Sorry guys ;D

Last month, I was really upset that "it" didn't show up. Every day I would cross my fingers, hoping I'd have a period, but the month of March ended without a cycle. It was a huge let down for me. I just wanted my body to work the way it's supposed to, 2 months in a row. I had given up that I was going to have one for the month of April, May or June. I had convinced myself that having one in February was just a fluke. So, I'm pleasantly surprised, and proud of myself (in a funny way) that aunt flow came all on her own this month!! Since eating healthy, I've gone from having a period 1-2 times a year, to having one in November, February, and April!! WOO HOO!!

My last woo hoo, goes to my weigh in this morning. It wasn't exactly what I wanted to see, but I'm very happy with it.
My weigh in had me at 180! That means that in the week I had company over, and started my period, I still managed to lose 1 pound!! WOO HOO!

Even though I have a headache, and am not feeling so hot, I'm very happy, and pretty proud of myself today, as I reflect on everything there is to celebrate!!

***

Wondering what the heck to do with all your hard boiled Easter eggs?Eating Well, has the answer for you!

I've Got Some Good News, and Some Bad

I always like to start with the bad, so the good news can cheer me up at the end (in case you were wondering;)

So, here's the bad news:
Today was weigh in day. Period. Need I say more? lol.
I walked into the bathroom this morning, smiling at the scale trying to soften it up a bit, stepped onto it, ever so lightly (like it was going to make a difference), and waited for what seemed like forever for the numbers to appear. When they did, they read, "194" (annoyed sigh)
I'm down .5 pounds from last weeks weigh in, which I already new from my sneak peek weigh in a few days ago. If I had a window in my bathroom, I assure you the scale would have gone flying right through it! Luckily for the scale, and the people walking their dogs on the path behind our house, we don't have a window in our bathroom....

Now here's the good news:
I got my monthly gift this month!!! I almost cried tears of joy! Most of you are probably wondering why on earth a women would be happy for this time of the month?!

Let me explain (TMI warning;):
It showed me that this month, my body worked the way it was supposed to! I rarely ever have periods on my own! Sometimes they have to be induced, so that my uterus can shed (apparently you can get cancer if it goes a while without shedding). When I do have them on my own, it's only 1 or 2 times a year! I wasn't really worried about this for a long time, and was actually kinda glad that I didn't have to go through PMS every month. But, now that we're so close to trying to get pregnant, the whole not having periods thing was making me nervous. Like sweating bullets kind of nervous.

No period=No ovulation. No ovulation=Inability to get pregnant on our own. Inability to get pregnant on our own=MONEY. Potentially lots of money to get pregnant. Running out of money=Not having children of our own.

Where as a Period=Ovulation! Ovulation=Getting pregnant the good old natural way!

My PCOS specialist told me that losing weight could possibly allow my body to ovulate on it's own. She explained that she had lots of overweight patients with PCOS, who after losing weight were able to get pregnant as easy as 1, 2, 3. They were able to skip pills and procedures, and conceive a baby, simply by living a healthier lifestyle. She URGED me to go on a diet, saying that it could be the key to getting pregnant.
It lit a fire under my tush, and I went on a diet.

In November, I went on a diet and lost 16 pounds. What do you know, I had a cycle that month. I wasn't too excited over it, because I thought it was just another random cycle, and I wouldn't see it again for 6, 9, or even 12 months. But, it's February, and here it is again. Is it coincidence that both times I've gotten my monthly gift, I've been on a diet? I THINK NOT! What do you know, my doctor was right. If this continues, we may not go broke while trying to have a precious little baby.

Today showed me 2 things:

1. Having my cycle this month may be the reason I haven't seen the scale budge, and if that's the the case, I'll take it with a smile in my face.

2. It really isn't ALL about the numbers. Yes, they are a big part of it, especially the mental part, but they aren't everything. Having a cycle showed me that my body is changing. My body is becoming much healthier, and is able to function the way it should.
That makes me happy.
It reminds me of my motto:

Eat Deliciously Healthy. Be :Deliciously Healthy.

And that I am
And so are you! :D